2020-03-14 01:48 评论 0 条


曼联 2-0 曼城

Steo42(阿森纳球迷):我为曼城下一个对手感到遗憾,提前祝他们好运……(一边查看赛程)……雾草……(I feel real sorry for City’s next opponents, good luck to...checks fixtures...Fuck.)

r1ndom_guy(吃瓜球迷):所以你们2020年英超不败纪录要作古了么?(So the unbeaten streak in PL this year comes to an end huh?)

Fgehjss(皇马球迷):曼联给咱们上了一课。(Well, United showed Real Madrid how it needs to be done.)

McTulus(皇马球迷):马里亚诺和巴斯克斯跃跃欲试……(Mariano and Lord Vasquez starts against city.)

Fgehjss(皇马球迷):emmm……我想多了,毕竟我们连贝蒂斯都搞不定。(Well, Nevermind. Even Betis is too strong...)

artie_fresh(利物浦球迷):埃德森今天太烂了。(Ederson has been shocking today.)

IwishIwasGoku(吃瓜球迷):你什么意思,这助攻简直完美。(What do you mean, that assist was perfect.)

keithohara(切尔西球迷):布拉沃看了大概会兴奋地硬起来。(Bravo will be getting an erection seeing this.)

皇家贝蒂斯 2-1 皇家马德里

VictorAkwaowo1(皇马球迷):榜首七日游真不赖。(Top of La Liga was fun for 7 days.)

falodellevanite(皇马球迷):三年了头一回在国家德比赢球,全白费了。(First El Clasico win in 3 years, fucking wasted.)

LosTerminators(巴萨球迷):赢巴萨你们得献祭5场。(They had to sacrifice five matches to win it.)

HijackyJay(皇马球迷):上周的事儿真是打扰了,我们这就把排名改回来。(We're sorry for the little inconvenience last week. Fixed the table.)

hoborobomojojojo(巴萨球迷):好说,反正之前也没人相信我们能赢你们。(No worries, not a lot of people were expecting us to beat you anyway.)

Nemlokt(巴萨球迷):谁都明白现在谈论冠军还为时过早,皇萨完全有能力输给任何球队。(Everyone knew it wouldn't mean anything this season. We're both capable of losing to anyone.)

RatedIKing(皇马球迷):我就知道拉玛西亚的人会坏事。(Ofcourse it had to be the La Masia graduate lmao.)

justSomeGuy5291(巴萨球迷):巴萨传奇特略,好嗨呦。(Barca legend Tello. I love it.)

Rafaeliki(吃瓜球迷):巴尔特拉之前还顶飞了一个近在咫尺的头球。(Bartra missed a wide open net earlier.)

SoccerJon(吃瓜球迷):因为他的余光扫到了贝尔。(He saw Bale in the corner of his eye.)

deimoshr(利物浦球迷):我看曼城就是穷人版的贝蒂斯。(City is just a poor man's Betis.)

HijackyJay(皇马球迷):恭喜,你们得感谢本泽马。他是非常棒的串联型球员,甚至能为对手串联。(Congrats. Thank Benz for the win tho. He is a very good link up player he even links up for the opposition.)

tweazz(皇马球迷):我讨厌足球,就像巴斯克斯讨厌踢出像样的传中一样。(I hate this sport almost as much as Lucas Vazquez hates accurate crosses.)

Isco-23(皇马球迷):搞笑的是每次我们只有落后了才会踢球,与己斗其乐无穷。(Funny how we always need to concede before we start to play football. We truly are our own enemy.)

Bihihem(马竞球迷):说不定这是马德里传统?(Is that a Madrid thing?)

Jansiz(吃瓜球迷):大家别忘了,别管巴萨踢得多烂,皇马总能找到办法做到烂得相得益彰。(Always remember, kids, no matter how trash Barca are Real will always find a way to be even worse.)

尤文图斯 2-0 国际米兰

gktp(国米球迷):这比赛就应该推后,太不安全了。(Postpone the game it's clearly unsafe.)

juventinn1897(尤文球迷):对国米球迷来说,是的。(For inter fans.)

hhhartm(国米球迷):很明显病毒影响了我们的球员,嗯,一定是这样。(You can see the virus is affecting our players,it's certain.)

JuiceyJaKrispy(吃瓜球迷):(拉姆塞进球后)他们还在播放进球音乐,并且播报员依然播报着进球,真不错。(I like how they still played a goal song and announced the goal over the PA.)

xxx-God-of-Cod-xxx(吃瓜球迷):而且看台都疯狂了。(THE FANS GO WILD.)

Joseki100(拉齐奥球迷):现在意甲冠军争夺者只剩下了三家:尤文、拉齐奥和冠状病毒。(It's now a three way fight for the Scudetto between Juventus, Lazio and COVID-19.)

GiovaOfficial(尤文球迷):我觉得病毒笑到最后的几率比较大。(I think the last one is the very likely winner.)

利物浦 2-1 伯恩茅斯

BabyKeith08(利物浦球迷):马内这是史上最差助攻了吧。(Mane with possibly the worst assist in history.)

tHeReD1819(利物浦球迷):他知道萨拉赫喜欢扣到左脚再射。(He knew Salah would want to cut inside 2 defenders anyway.)

ThereWillBeGoals(利物浦球迷):没错,都是算好了的。(Yeah Calculated.)

philipstyrer(切尔西球迷):真是大湿啊。(Well he mastered it.)

ChipmunkOnCoffee(吃瓜球迷):杰克-辛普森到底是怎么想的?(What the hell was jack Simpson thinking?)

Mental-Advisor(吃瓜球迷):“本来今儿就不应该我上场。”("I was not even supposed to play today")

V01LTUR3Z(利物浦球迷):兄弟们我们居然进球了!(WEVE SCORED A GOAL LADS!)

Sir-Jarvis(利物浦球迷):那个叫萨拉赫的看起来踢得可以啊。(That Salah is alright like.)

GIF 莱尔马用生命护球

SharkFanAbroad(吃瓜球迷):如果没有球,就像一个拒捕的逃犯。(If you don’t mind the ball, looks like a guy attempting to evade overzealous cops.)

_jxggs_(曼联球迷):最牛皮的是他的手全程都没碰到过球。(That’s genuinely incredible how he’s not touched the ball with his hand.)

npia(吃瓜球迷):球太烫手。(The ball is lava.)

vancouver Whitecaps(吃瓜球迷):想象一下,已经被侵犯了8次了,然后裁判哨响,判他手球……(Imagine him getting called for a hand ball when he's getting fouled like 8 times.)

巴塞罗那 1-0 皇家社会

GIF 梅西罚任意球得到“特殊待遇”

trivialbol(吃瓜球迷):梅西那拧着的眉梢说明了一切。(lol the frown he makes says it all.)

Ducas24(吃瓜球迷):他肯定想:你们这是整的啥JB玩意儿。(He’s like what is this bullshit they are pulling against me.)

shrekonator(吃瓜球迷):干脆让守门员当人墙,其他人在球门组成人墙算了。(Put the GK as the wall and the wall in the goal.)

Escalator7(拜仁球迷):你是说这个么?(You mean this?)

Sajan_Rana10(吃瓜球迷):头脑风暴时间。(Big brain time.)

omardwider(吃瓜球迷):下一步就是把球门抬起来然后移走。(Next step is to lift goal posts and change its location.)

至此本期的《国外也有段子手》栏目就告一段落了,令人瞩目的欧冠淘汰赛明天凌晨即将打响,请各位老铁在收视比赛的同时,也敬请关注我们即将发布的欧冠特别版,see you around!

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